Here’s Your Aloha

I’m writing this piece as a follow up to the recent blog post I wrote about the need for Hawai`i to shut down to visitors. I was so incredibly angry that our governor continued to allow unchecked tourism to continue to flow freely to a place where I live, Kaua`i, that has 7-12 ICU beds (count disputed but doesn’t matter not nearly enough). It angered me to see tourists coming in by the plane loads from places where the virus was spreading, especially after a cruise ship had visited here before it was discovered that people had tested positive for the disease. (Thankfully they have stopped the cruise ships and as of Thursday visitors and residents will have to quarantine for 14 days, but more on that later…)

Many responsible people cancelled their trips, but not enough did, and these were the irresponsible ones who were not obeying the posted guidelines about social distancing and ignoring signs that said the parks were closed and cavorting all over.

I became very vocal in my outrage, and it seems that I wasn’t alone. Many people here shared my outrage, especially local people, who, as my husband so eloquently wrote in this “viral” (pardon the intended/non-intended pun) article he wrote for Smithsonian Magazine on the history of epidemics in Hawai’i, have seen this tragically  play out before. They know what can happen to people who live on an island.  They felt real fear for the kupuna (elders) here, as did I. And they understood that we needed to close it all down. Stop the influx of people coming in from elsewhere.

This led to (overwhelmingly peaceful) protests by some local people here, asking tourists to go home. I know that the one in Poipu was respectful…I was there.

Yeah those are my white legs

There have been cases of local people yelling at tourists, or in some cases residents who they thought to be tourists, and I heard there was one instance of someone throwing stones or something to that effect. But there have been very, very few instances of “violence” or “threatening behavior” and the majority of “confrontations” have been online.

I happen to belong to several Kaua`i related Facebook groups, including one that has 30,000 people that is more geared for tourists. Prior to our new Covid-19 world, that site was mainly people posting questions about the weather, which side of the island to stay on and where to eat, along with tons of pictures of the beauty that is this island. But as the virus spread, people who live here, like me, started to warn people that this might not be the time to come, which led to sometimes heated exchanges, which led to the comments being turned off by the moderators. There’s another site that is more geared to locals and residents with a good number of visitors, and while commenting is allowed, the pattern has been pretty much the same:  As things heated up, someone who got “yelled at” or heard about people being “yelled at”, would get on these forums and complain about how the “locals” were NOT showing aloha. No matter that the tourist was thinking about or had made the decision to come during a pandemic, the “locals” were expected to show aloha no matter what. And if anyone dared to say, um this is NOT A GOOD TIME, the poster would bemoan how hurt they were. Then others would pile on, POOR YOU you don’t deserve that (heart prayer hand emojis), Or worse, anyone who dared say STAY HOME was told that if they continued to be so mean, people would stop coming so they would lose their jobs.

Even white residents, of which I am one, started to complain about the treatment, saying that they too had been yelled at because of their skin color, although I of course am not in that group. I have never ever been mistreated here, but if I had, I would not have gone on Facebook to accuse Hawaiians of being racists. We had several white people at the protest I attended say hey I live here, and give us the shaka. And honestly anyone who beeped in support was shaka-ed back, no matter what race or background.

But that’s white fragility in a nutshell. I posted on my wall about how I was angered that they were still letting tourists in and that the tourists were not practicing social distancing. Someone I had friended from one of those groups, a white resident, came onto my wall to post pictures of “locals” at a ballpark near her not social distancing, and complained that she had been yelled at and given the “stink eye” from locals for being white. I told her that I agree that everyone should be social distancing, but reminded her that aloha is a two way street, you gotta give it to get it, and I also said that people are angry and that is expressed in different ways. She wrote back something to the effect that it doesn’t give locals an excuse to treat tourists like lepers. OMG!  I told her that she needed to read up on Hawaiian history because that was one of the most insensitive things she could have said (or read Doug’s paper on it) My Hawaiian friend took over from there, and the offended one ended up defriending me and I read elsewhere that she is so distraught and upset that someone was so mean to her that she is thinking of moving off the island.

THIS IS WHITE FRAGILITY! Girl, you got your feelings hurt! Someone gave you the STINK EYE. You got yelled at and someone was mean to you on FACEBOOK! Meanwhile…Hawaiian people have had their legal government overthrown, their land taken, they have been forced to work 3 shitty jobs to be able to live in their homeland and they have to put up with entitled tourists all over the island, day in and day out, and STILL they smile and give aloha. And now many just cannot do it anymore, they say please go home, we need to save resources for our kupuna.

But if they dare go online to express any of those feelings or express their anger they are lectured about how we all have to work together, this is not the time for anger.  I’ve been smacked down too: if I write about it someone inevitably brings up the one or two cases where peoples’ anger has boiled over, like the case on Oahu where some tourist family who arrived there the DAY before the quarantine because you know cheap fares, were harassed at a park in Waikiki and it was written up in the paper. So of course whenever anyone expressed anger that was the immediate comeback, not an acknowledgement of frustration over the situation, just a big lecture on how nothing is an excuse for violence. So I felt compelled to preface all of my posts with “I don’t condone violence but…”

Of course I don’t condone violence!!! I hate confrontation and want world peace! But I’m done prefacing because really, can’t the “victim” EVER take ANY responsibility? Who in the hell gets on a plane with their fucking family in the middle of a global pandemic and flies to an isolated island with limited resources?! No Aloha left for that!!!

And some were more subtle.  Many people who did cancel their plans went online to demand a pat on the back for doing the right thing, and then if someone said something like good you should have canceled, they were admonished for their “negative tone”. Or there were many who said things like “well I would have cancelled but I can’t get my deposit back and I can’t afford to lose that money”. Which makes no sense, so you’re going to come anyway, spend more money and risk everyone’s health? And to which I replied, “people who are losing their livelihoods here are telling you to stay away, think about others.” But you know, I am just so MEAN to the poor tourists. 

White privilege, class tone deafness and white fragility, we need to have this conversation because it’s the only way we’re going to get past it.  I will leave with the last paragraph from Doug’s article on epidemics because it’s so freaking good. I send much Aloha to everyone, because if you give it freely and humbly. you will get it back.

“As visitors rail in online communities about the lack of aloha they are experiencing (some going so far as to say they felt they were being treated like lepers), the real question is whether or not each person respects the unique culture and history of Hawai‘i and the fragility of this place and its people. The Hawaiian Kingdom was never about race or skin color. Now that all Americans are in that position of being a “virgin population,” it’s time for the non-Hawaiian residents and visitors to understand what the Native people here went through: how they died in droves, how they and their lifestyles were blamed for the illnesses brought in from outside, how this led to their kingdom being taken from them and their lands being overrun by foreigners whose individualism is antithetical to life on small islands. The Hawaiian experience is the very definition of intergenerational trauma. They should not be asked to give aloha. They should receive it.”

Hawai`i is on Vacation

Aloha kakou. I’m sitting here on Kaua`I, looking out my window at the blue sky and lush surroundings and trying to wrap my head around what is happening in the world, as we all are in this brave new world called Covid 19. But this isn’t going to be a post that I could have written had I been in self-imposed isolation just anywhere, it’s about being here, on Kaua`I, in the occupied state of Hawai`i. Those of you who have happened upon my Facebook rants of late know that I have been pretty vocal in my outrage that as of today, March 20, 2020, they are still allowing tourists to come to the islands, at least until the governor signs off on the recommendations of his lieutenant governor and Covid 19 task force to impose a 14 day quarantine on all people coming here. He needs to do that yesterday.

Tensions are running high because as you know tourism is the number one industry here and most people work 3 shitty jobs to make ends meet and those jobs are heavily concentrated in the tourist industry. So there are some people who, despite everything, are arguing against shutting the shit down. But I feel that those voices are getting fewer and farther between. I get it, what does someone do when their livelihood is taken away, especially someone who lives on an island where everything is more expensive? This pandemic has shown a bright light on the gaping holes in our social safety net, too many people stuck in low wage jobs with no security, meanwhile our esteemed senators are profiting by selling stock based on insider information. It’s what we get when we elect an inept bankrupt failing TV reality star as president. I can’t even write what I think about him. Instead, I will choose to believe that sanity will prevail, that the policies prescribed by my awesome colleagues at the Center for Economic and Policy Research will be enacted. At least I will do whatever I can to fight for that.

Ahh but I digress, back to Hawai`i. I see lots of posts about people all over the islands saying enough is enough. People on Molokai and Maui have taken to the streets:

And that has brought backlash. I’ve also seen posts complaining about people who feel that is not showing “aloha”. And as I wrote on someone’s thread, that’s what Hawaiians have ALWAYS been told: Show aloha. Always show aloha. And if they dare complain well, they are the ones ridiculed and scolded for not having aloha. And that makes me crazy mad. Everyone saying that needs to read up on some Hawaiian history. My husband Doug’s dissertation had several chapters about the epidemics brought here by outsiders. Epidemics that nearly eradicated Hawaiians. People have inter-generational trauma about that and people who come here have the nerve to say to someone from here that they need to show aloha.

Everyone, Hawai’i is closed. Let it heal, both literally and figuratively. Let the people here take care of the kupuna. We have a total of 9 ICU beds, we need all of the resources for residents. And maybe, as happened in Venice, let the aina heal. Let’s use this opportunity to really re-imagine what life could be like, where people of this place can grow food and take care of one another without someone whining about not being able to take their cheap ass coronavacation.  No aloha left for that. But there is much aloha for those who really love this place to do the right thing and stay home.

And with that, much aloha from Kaua`i.

Edited to include this link to an article by my husband Doug that just came out in Smithsonian Magazine:
https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/shutting-down-hawaii-historical-perspective-epidemics-islands-180974506/?fbclid=IwAR2Lc_vruMVhRiv8KkZMyebEAPZ_qEAAmldSZg-qgVO-Gxi_u8XyoyCyo6s

OK Boomer, You are Beautiful

OK BOOMERS listen up, this post is for you! OK not all of you really, it’s more for the female side of the equation. We don’t discriminate because I am sure that many men of a certain age who read this post will relate as well. But please forgive me because this post is really meant for my fellow women warriors of a certain age and it’s about something that I have been thinking about a lot, increasingly so as I look in the mirror these days and catch a glimpse of my wrinkled jowls or crepe eye or arm skin and I’m like whoa who is that old woman? This conversation is timely, what with all the hoopla over JLo and Shakira’s performance in the Super Bowl.

I struggle with all of it. Wanting to embrace my aging body and face fearlessly, with pride. I work out, because it’s something I’ve always done. As I wrote in a long ago post, that habit may have started back in my anorexic early 20’s (and if any of you know anything about anorexia it’s about control more than anything else), but now it’s about being healthy and teaching my seniors the importance of movement. I eat what I want and am thin most likely as a result of genetics and my metabolism. Exercise helps, but sometimes it is the genes.

And still, knowing that, sometimes when I’m teaching, I look in the mirror and say DAMN I’m PROUD of myself, but sometimes I say, “OMG I’m over 60 when did that happen?” Always that tension between feeling really good and feeling like I’ve lost something precious.

I’ve always been obsessed with being stylish

And I started wearing make up at 14. Here I am in High School, it’s in black and white but you can see from my shiny hair and eyes that I was in full make up in Spanish class.

I never went ANYWHERE without make-up. This is from my 5th High School reunion. I probably thought I looked old then.

Throughout my 30’s, 40’s, 50’s I tried every face cream regimen out there (ask my mom about my products!) And speaking of my mom, look at her!

She’s never used anything but Pond’s Cold Cream. Despite what she looks like though I could never use a drug store beauty product, heavens. I need the latest in anti-aging. And I usually post pictures of myself in sunglasses so you don’t see the eye wrinkles.

Because and I am really embarrassed to say this but it’s my face that I really care about. I’ve thought so much about the struggle to look younger. I know many women who have had some kind of procedure, whether its Botox or fillers or laser or surgery. And I guess if I’m honest, if I had a lot of money to spare, I probably would have gone that route. So I don’t blame them. I probably would be them.

But I’m not, and I just think that those of us who don’t go that route need to be the ones to be out there, talking to one another, telling each other that it’s ok, that we are strong. WE are the ones who can help each other to age gracefully. To stop each other from feeling bad. To embrace our wrinkles and call them signs of our wisdom. To stop comparing ourselves to celebrities and others, to stop finding ourselves lacking.

When I moved to Hawaii I told myself that I needed to let it GO. I now only wear some eye make up occasionally. That was a huge step for me (that sounds so SILLY as I type, what with all the crazy shit going on in the world). But it’s true and this post is about being true to ourselves. I need to step gracefully into my role as an Aunty. A Kupuna who has something to teach.

So I ask all of you, my tribe, to help me and help each other to accept our aging beautiful bodies just as they are. Post your selfies. Here I am in no make-up and no filter.

We are strong, we are beautiful, we rock. Even with our old lady hands (rock on MA).

Hauʻoli Makahiki Hou from Kauai !

The above means happy new year if you haven’t already guessed. I decided to use this opportunity to update my silly little blog, in case anyone is interested in reading about how we are adjusting to life on this beautiful island.

In a word (or three), pretty damn well! I last wrote some random ramblings and this post will probably be more of the same.  It’s been 4 months since we landed here, which feels weird because in some ways it feels like forever, and in other ways it feels like time has stood still, especially since it was sunny, green and humid when I arrived and it’s still sunny, green and humid now. Although we did have a few bouts of “cold” weather which forced me to put on socks for the first time. I know you’re feeling my pain east coast peeps. It’s a hard knock life.

So yeah, it’s “winter”, which on Kauai means LOTS of rain. And rain, we discovered, only helps to increase the mold that grows on pretty much everything in my house. It’s not a pretty sight and it’s a constant battle

but on the other hand this is the view from said house, a regular occurrence because of said rain:

OK I’ll get the other “bad” stuff out of the way. It’s pretty expensive here as I have mentioned so we don’t go out much. But thankfully we have Costco, and Grove Farm museum, where Doug works, is actually a working farm and we get avocados and eggs and soursop and all kinds of strange citrus that I’ve never heard of.

So that’s helping with the grocery sticker shock. I just wish we could find a good supply of fresh fish. There are fish shops that sell poke, and Costco actually has some decent fish, but believe it or not it’s really hard to find fresh local fish (except for the times when we can catch our neighbor who sells Halalu, or baby Akule. YUM!)

Doug is seriously looking into getting some new fishing gear and goin fishin himself. Can’t wait!

The roosters are still getting on my damn nerves and now Shel shakes and hides when she hears them in the morning because a week or so ago Doug went out with a pellet gun to shoot at them and Shel got scared. She still chases them at the farm though, and I hope she catches all the bastards! Sorry for the Language but they are the most annoying creatures on the planet. Even more so than the cane spiders, which don’t bother me but still creep Doug out!

Speaking of Shel, she’s doing great, she’s fully recovered from her accident (which she wrote about in a guest post on my blog, here), and she LOVES Kauai life, dawgs. And why not? She has run of the farm, where she runs around all day,

chasing chickens and barn cats and teasing the pigs and greeting the visitors and getting lots of love.

She also gets to go to the beach, and she loves rolling around in the sand and splashing in the waves.

As do I…well not the rolling in the sand part. But we have found our favorite beaches on “our” side of the island, and are so so lucky to be able to take a dip whenever we want. Or at least when we’re not working.

Speaking of working, in October I received an email from my ex-boss at the Center for Economic and Policy Research saying that my replacement had quit suddenly and asking if I would be interested in doing some development consulting as they had tons of grants due. I did and it’s working out beautifully so far, I’m up at it bright and early east coast time and finish by noon or so which leaves me time to help Doug at Grove Farm…or go to the beach! And my BOOM Move senior fitness class at the Kauai Athletic club is going well, I have about 16 regulars and they can really groove. I may get another class at the community center in Waimea. It’s great to have all of these jobs, because see above about the cost of living. But I’m especially glad to be back at CEPR. I tried to leave twice and failed, there’s a reason…

OK, what else is hard. Missing my people is HARD. I miss my mom and my daughter Jordan and my stepson Holden and Candace and Gina and Tamara and Mary and Joan and Claudia and Liz and Chris and Jo and Roniece and Maureen and my PIC and all of my friends, both in Baltimore and in Paris and beyond. I’ve had some bouts of feeling lonely here and there, but I am getting out and meeting people and I am fortunate to have met someone who I know will be a good friend, in a roundabout way through my friend Maria from Baltimore, which is a sweet story. As one of my Paris amis said, you find your tribe wherever you land. I believe that I will do just that, I just have to remind myself to be patient (which I am NOT).

The local friends that we made here on previous trips live on the north shore and as I am finding out that’s like Siberia in Kauai speak. I have another dear friend who is from here and she even lived within hanging out distance, but she moved to the Big Island soon after we arrived (happy for her sad for me). But I keep up with her great work and she makes me think a lot about some of the other things I struggle with, namely how to reconcile my life with the people of this place, especially knowing what the whole overthrow of the legitimate Hawaiian kingdom has done to the people. I am a sovereignty ally, trying to figure out what that even means.

And I’m figuring out how to co-exist with the gazillion tourists who come here, especially those who don’t respect the culture or the wildlife. I stubbed my toe at Poipu running up to someone to kindly explain that getting all down in a resting sea turtle’s face to take a selfie was not cool.  

Also, people born here are getting priced out, forced to work 2-3 jobs just to survive, so it bothers me when the rich come and buy up land and build gated communities to keep people out. That is something I think about a lot, and I try as hard as I can to be respectful to the communities whose ancestors’ bones are buried here.

And yet, I love it here so much, and feel SO blessed that we are able to live here and to share in the beauty. I know that Doug will do his best to show the history of this place, to help everyone learn and grow and hopefully have more respect for both the people and the land. To do that it’s important to talk about the past. We want to tell the stories of the plantation workers and to help lift up the knowledge about how the Hawaiians lived before the outside world came. I want to learn hula and Hawaiian so that I can understand better.

I have enjoyed our visitors, first my time with the aforementioned Maria, despite her visit coinciding with a stressful week for me that involved my flying to Oahu to see my new eye doctor not to mention grant deadlines. Still we managed to have fun and we had a nice drive up to Ke`e beach on the north shore in my special place, Ha`ena.

And then Doug’s mom and Holden came for Thanksgiving which was awesome. The weather was great and I learned to paddleboard thanks to Maria finding the House Stark SUP. We had such fun on the river, I can’t wait to do it again.

We went to Waimea Canyon and we could see for miles…just stunning.

We spent Thanksgiving at one of the historic properties that Doug manages, Mahamouku, a 1919 beach house that sits on the gorgeous Hanalei Bay. It was magical being there for a few days. We had a great time and can’t wait for Holden to come back. And for Jordan to visit!

Christmas was quiet, Doug told his employees that they could have off from Christmas through New Year’s so we manned the office at the museum and readied the property for tours. It was good getting to know the ins and outs of taking care of the place. I have such respect for all of the lovely people who work at Grove Farm museum, and I look forward to trying to get some grants so that we can do all kinds of good things in the coming year.

So, that’s how things look from down here, on this teeny tiny dot WAY out in the middle of the Pacific ocean that we are blessed to call home. I’ll leave with one more good news story, something that I think speaks to the aloha of Kauai. A few weeks ago I lost my wedding ring while snorkeling at a beach near Poipu called Baby beach. I snorkel there because as the name suggests it’s good for novice snorkelers like me. Doug had to work that day and I decided that I wanted to venture out on my own. I told myself to take off my wedding ring (that has my great grandmother’s diamond as well as diamonds from Doug’s grandmother, ie priceless), but I forgot to do so which was STUPID as I had lost it when Holden was visiting and he found it. Anyway it slipped off somehow while I was adjusting my snorkel. A kind man on the beach and I snorkeled for over an hour looking to no avail, so I left thinking that perhaps I had taken it off at home after all…but no, it was gone.

Doug looked after work and I went back to ask people to post to several Facebook groups that I belong to called Kauai Life and Kauai Community if anyone found it. I posted to the groups as well, and several people suggested that I contact someone named Dutch Medford. To make a long story as short as I can, I found Dutch’s phone number and he came out of retirement to help me find my ring. He has a metal detector and over the years he has found millions of dollars’ worth of lost rings for people, never charging a cent, only accepting “tips”. It took the intrepid Dutch about 10-15 minutes to find my ring in the shallow water.  He is my savior!

So Doug and I decided to give a metal detector for Christmas, so that we can give back in the same way. Plus Dutch said it’s fun, and you find all kinds of things, not to mention loose change.

Well, that’s probably more than enough random ramblings for one sitting. I’ll leave you with this: In my previous post, I had hoped that I would be able to slow down some, to enjoy life. I still don’t miss the rat race. I am more relaxed. The rhythm of this place suits me. The land, the aina, calms me, despite old stresses popping up now and then. May we all enter this new decade with a sense of peace and happiness. We need to stay strong in love.

Here are some sunrise/sunset pictures from the soulful place that is Kauai. Hauʻoli makahiki hou hons! Ya’ll come visit, heah?

Island Dog Tails…

Aloha Kakou! Shelby here, I am taking over my mom’s blog in honor of my other mom, Mary O.  She wanted to hear from me directly about how I am liking life on Kauai. So this post is in honor of Mary, Jim and Alex Opasik, my second family, who I love and miss very much.

OK, getting here was NOT FUN! I had to go to the vet many times and get shots and all kind of other nasty things that I HATE. And I had to get into a crate!!  I’ve always hated those damn things ever since they made me get in one when I came to Baltimore from Tennessee. I was SO NOT happy to be in a crate again, and I didn’t understand why Mommy made me do it, then she LEFT ME and I was in this most awful place and I hated it SO MUCH, and I was scared and shaking!!! But then after what seemed like TWO YEARS I got out and guess who was there? Mommy AND Daddy, and some woman who put this thing around my neck and then Mommy and Daddy put me in a car and I had no idea what in the hell was going on!!!

But…OMG SO MANY NEW SMELLS!! I was really in smell heaven; I didn’t care about not having any squirrels to chase. It was AMAZING. So green and smelly and beautiful. And Daddy took me to a FARM. Get out, I grew up on a freaking farm!! YAY! I was SO HAPPY to be back with the pigs! I get to go there every day. I’m in farm heaven.

But I did really miss chasing squirrels and rabbits and  pretty soon I was feeling bummed out that there are no squirrels and rabbits on Kauai. I didn’t know what to do with myself…until…I realized that there are literally a GAZILLION chickens on Kauai and guess what? They are even MORE fun to chase than squirrels because sometimes I even catch one! And nobody cares because everyone is like OMG we are so over the roosters crowing at 3AM. I am a HERO LOL!

And what is even more awesome, I get to go to the beach, and I LOVE IT! I run into the water and then my most favorite thing is to run back to the beach and roll around in the sand so that I am COVERED in sand. It’s so GREAT! I do hate it when Mommy and Daddy rinse all that sand off in the shower though. That SUCKS! Why can’t I have all the fun?

I also have made some new friends here. Don’t worry Alex, I am still your girl. Bomba and I are JUST FRIENDS I SWEAR SWEETIE LUV U! xoxo

I did have a little accident – some damn ass car HIT ME! It hurt like hell but I am on meds and I think I’m gonna be ok. I got lots of love and treats and my mom told me that everyone was thinking good thoughts about me and I loved that. I’m a SUVIVOR people.

So, I look forward to continuing my MOST amazing life as the Most Happiest Dog on Kauai. PLEASE come visit Mommy, she misses her friends and I just can’t be there for her ALL THE TIME, I have too many chickens to chase.

Aloha from Kauai, dawgs!!

Shelby, AKA Shel Belle, AKA Shoobs OMG they need to make up their freakin minds!

Random Ramblings From Kauai

So, I’ve been here for a month. I still can’t believe that I live here. LIVE here. I hope that the wonderment never ever goes away. I will do what I can to constantly be amazed by this stunningly beautiful place, and will try to remain grateful and thankful. I live 10-15 minutes from some of the most beautiful beaches on the planet. Blessssed:

I’m not really a rambling person, rambling in the sense of writing a post that has no purpose or beginning or end. Mahalo Kauai for forcing me to shake it up (reference to the Cars whose lead singer died after I moved here….)

OK here is my attempt at the free fall (aww in homage to another of my rock idols TP, RIP):

The pace of life is definitely slower here than in Baltimore/DC. And while I vehemently deny that my hometown is a rat infested hell hole, the pace here on Kauai is way slower than the rat race I used to endure (even with the “rush hour” traffic jams). And WAY slower than DC. I can barely remember my two hour commute. AND it feels good to be far away from the rat in the WH.

Although we do have rats here. And cane spiders and centipedes. And lots of cute geckos and skinks. And big moths. But no snakes! And no mongeese. Which is why there are a gazillion wild chickens on Kauai, which leads to my next ramble:

Roosters are a pain in the ass. They literally crow around the clock. And did you know that each one has a distinctive sound? Imagine variations of “screech screech screech screech screeeech”. The sonorous, beautiful, only at sunrise “Cock a doodle doo” is a made up fantasy my people, the real thing ain’t pretty, especially when it wakes you at 3AM.

Prices are high and salaries are low. I can’t fathom how working people survive here. I guess I’ll find out! Trying to be more frugal, which in the end is better for me, and hopefully for the planet. Yes, while the whole political scene in DC seems far far away, climate change feels very real here. I think about it a lot more.

I need to learn how to prounce Hawaiian words properly. Even the street names trip me up:
Ala Kalanikaumaka St
Hanamaulu Rd
Uahiapele St
Kaholalele Rd
Waihohonou Rd

At least I can manage Aloha and Mahalo

Except for my running shoes, I haven’t had anything on my feel except flip flops (slippahs). Mostly I’m barefoot. I have a slippah tan and rough but happy feet.

All of my clothes are just wrong. I will probably wear 1/10th of what I brought, if that. And I’ve had just a bit of eye make up on, one time. Those of you who know me know that that in and of itself is a miracle! It’s too hot for one thing, and I am really trying to accept my aging wrinkled face as it is. From now on I will refer to my sweat as a dewy glow.

Because it’s been hot and I don’t have air conditioning! But this is the last time I will publically complain about that because, um no winter.

I love avacados, which is a good thing because we have an overabundance. It’s so wonderful to be able to eat fresh food from the farm.

And last but most certainly not least: The people of Kauai are some of the nicest I’ve ever met, anywhere. And it breaks my heart to think that overdevelopment and overtouristing is causing them hardship. I am thinking a lot about how to spread the word about the myriad issues facing the native people of these islands. I wrote a scoldy piece about it here: https://sisterofminehomeagain.wordpress.com/2017/08/29/one-hundred-and-one-things-not-to-do-when-visiting-the-sovereign-hawaiian-nation/ The tone of that piece may be a bit harsh, so I am thinking on how to go about an education campaign aimed at visitors and newcomers that will resonate. Stay tuned

And that’s all for now. Much aloha to everyone from the Garden Isle!

Such a Short (ish) Strange Trip It’s Been…Or, How I Was On My Way to Paris and Landed in Hawaii (Literally Speaking)

The title to this post refers to this post that I wrote in February of 2015. How I was REALLY on my way to Paris, but then I went on OK Stupid at the suggestion of my mother, and how I met Hawaii Boy aka Doug, aka my husband. Then I wrote THIS post, about how I was sure that we met because I was the one who was taking HIM to Paris, that I just had to meet him to get there. But, no, what was really happening, which I documented in this post, was that I was falling in love with Kauai, even though I didn’t know it at the time! And so when Doug first heard about a job there, well, in the beginning I was apprehensive, because as I noted in THIS post I had come to the conclusion that we were still destined to be in France. except that the compromise was that we’d live in the south of France so that he could have his canoe there but I still could go to Paris whenever. But obviously that too wasn’t meant to be. The universe, man she moves in some mysterious ways…

OK back to the job. Yeah at first I was apprehensive because there was a previous possibility in Honolulu and I wasn’t feeling it. But.with this possibility I started feeling it. Mainly because it’s on Kauai, the one island that, as I said earlier, I had some strong connection to before I really understood what was happening. And Doug felt the same way, he wasn’t sure about this job at first. But then things started opening up and he had a great phone intervew and then he was invited for a second interview, and they suggested that I come. So I did. And if felt so right. It felt like everything was falling into place before we understood it, kind of like everything else in our 5+ years together.

I hate to even write these words but while making the decsion to uproot our lives was a piece of cake, actually doing so was pretty stressful. Selling our house (that’ hadn’t appreciated), packing, filling out the reams of paperwork required to bring my dog Shelby, quitting my job of 11 years. Yes I had quit before, but in the end I realized that my job at the Center for Economic and Policy Research was one of the best I’ve ever had. NO development director stays somewhere for that long! I’ll miss my CEPR comrades. And I’ll really miss my family and friends. I don’t think it has hit me yet, that I’m so far away from my mom, and daugther, and stepson, and my Baltimore peeps. What will I do on Monday nights without my Candace? But in the end, despite all of that, the decision still feels like the right one.

So today, Doug starts his new job as Executive Director of the Waioli Corp (here is an article about him from “our” newspaper The Garden Island News.) I’m so excited for him, and so proud of him. This job is really perfect for him in every way. And I start a whole new life in a very different place. I had thought that I would be working remotely at a part time fundraising gig but that fell apart, probably for the best. Because now I get to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. 🙂 I’m working on putting together my BOOM senior fitness classes, and I just signed up to get (re)certified as a personal trainer. I’m still looking for development jobs (if you know of any remote jobs hit a sister up.) But mainly I am going to slow the hell down. Breathe. Relax. Hang out with the many wonderful friends we have made here, and make new ones. Live into aging naturally, with as much grace as I can muster. And enjoy this place:

Mahalo for reading. I hope you all come along on my new journey. And come visit! Aloha nui loa, hons…