I wasn’t sure what to write in this blog post…or whether to write it, or whether to post it…it’s all so complicated, this world of social media. I am a shameless facebook addict, I admit. I put my personal life and my photos and my political views out there…I fly my flags all over the internet. Maybe it’s the result of having been shy as a child, hiding behind my written words and notes but scared to say the same things in person. I read once that introverts are the biggest “sharers” online, because it’s just you and your computer. I don’t think I’m an introvert…I get my energy from being around others…but I do think I share more via the written word than I do in person, for better or worse.
All that to say that I am posting this on my blog to say that I am on a new journey, this one personal. I signed separation papers this past week. The reasons I decided to separate from my husband are complex and personal and hard and tangled and not easy. A life, 13 years with a person and 7 years of marriage. No regrets, but no reconciliation. It’s past that, as painful as that is for me to write (my decision, but still painful).
So this marks a new chapter in my life, and changes the dynamics of my blog. I don’t know what direction either will take. To anyone who met me though my husband and who is reading this blog, I am open to continuing a relationship with you, all of you. If you choose to not do that I will understand; these things are never easy, and while I will never ask anyone to choose “sides”, I understand that people might. It’s ok…you can defriend me, just do what you have to do, And please be his friend…I want all of my friends to be his friend as well.
I saw this quote on facebook once, it’s often attributed to Dr. Seuss, whether he wrote it or not I don’t know, but it’s how I have to think so that I can move forward: “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
I hope that all the people who I love accept the above…I hope y’all don’t mind, and that you see into my heart and know that it tries to be open. I’ll end with another quote from one of my mentors in life, the simply amazingly awesome Reverend Kim Crawford Harvie of the Arlington Street Unitarian-Universalist Church in Boston:
“Let us join hands,
and I will walk this road with you.
May our broken hearts be opened,
and may we love one another with broken-open hearts.”
Amen sister! I love you
I look forward to walking my new journey. I hope you all come along. I love you all with my broken open heart,,,