Alors… ( I feel compelled to start this blog post en Francais). Donc, alors, the title of this blog is sisterofmminehomeagain. Which, if you know 80’s music and if you know me, is a line from one of my favorite songs from my favorite band. As I said when I used Sistereurope as my dating profile username, it fits because I actually do have a Sister who lives in Europe. But the home again part never seemed to fit…until I moved to Paris.
My last blog post was an homage to all the people I was privileged to know during my time in Hawai’i. Most of my friends know why I left, and what has happened in my family since then, so I will respect everyone’s privacy (which I know my child will appreciate) by not going into all the things that happened before and just after my move here in March. Because at the end of the day it’s just… life. All of us have good and bad and happy and sad times…ok maybe not all of it happening at the very same time like I just experienced. But enough of us do so that I am sure y’all agree: C’est la vie, n’est ce pas hons ?
So I wwon’t talk about that. I’ll talk about how, as the title of this post and the title of my blog suggests, I am, finally, home again. I don’t know how or why I developed, rather quickly, such a deep connection to this city. I wasn’t one of those little girls who always dreamed of living in Paris. Yes, I chose to study French over Spanish in 9th grade, but there was no real reason for that. I was a total Anglophile (capital A). I loved everything British, from my absolute DEVOTION to David Bowie as a teen to my obsession with punk rock and new wave. Sigh. So when I eventually FINALLY made my way to Europe in 1990 I of course went to England, and then we drove straight through France to Germany to see said sister who was studying there and then to Italy to see my adopted Italian sister.
It wasn’t until 2005 that I found myself in what was to become MY city. I eventually penned many love letters to Paris in this very blog so I won’t bore you with all that, and will skip to the most important part: OMFG I actually LIVE HERE NOW! I have to pinch myself every DAY when I think about those words. I take none of if for granted. And while my rose colored glasses do let in the cons of living in another country and specifically the Paris cons, The pros for me win the day.
I love so many things about Paris. Number one though, seriously THE number one thing I love about living here is all the friends I have here. Again, I pinch myself sometimes…how did a girl from Catonsville get to have a Parisian friend circle, et un grand one at that? The easy answer is the internets. That’s how I first made my first French connections, but it really was meeting friends of friends that allowed me to meet people who live here too. I remain ever grateful for mes amis.
Some of the other things I like are cliché, like the food, and the wine, and the markets with seasonal produce, and the art and museums and the parks. I love shopping and I love my neighborhood and my apartment. I love flashing my senior Navigo pass and flitting around on the metro and buses. I just love living here period.
I’ve been fortunate to have been able to take advantage of having all of Europe at my doorstep as well (what is doorstop in French anyway? Some word I don’t know de porte?). I took my child to Italy where we met up with my niece who came down to Lucca from Berlin.
I went to my friend’s birthday bash in Malta.
And I toured the Baltic states with my 3 Gaysateers.
I’m already planning new adventures! But it feels good to know that when I come home, I come home to Paris.
Yes, it’s hard being away from my family, I miss them a lot. It’s hard navigating this language that I’ve studied 4EVER and have yet to master (I’m working hard on that). Plus Bureaucracy can be a pain here too. And while I am SO SO grateful to my bosses for allowing me to work from ma maison, it gets tiring having to clock in during east coast hours (not that I am complaining I KNOW I have it good in the travail regard). Just wanting to reiterate that it’s not ALL champagne et roses (although it is all vin et fromage).
What struck me today as I returned from my walk/jog in my favorite parc, Montsouris,
is that for the very first time in my life I am alone and I am content, and I have to get used to having those things co-exist. I really haven’t ever lived alone so this is a new way of being for me. As Tom Petty says, I’m learning to Fly.
And something else I realized is that I have always had regrets, I have always looked back and wondered what my life would have been had I not chosen this path or that, and way too often it made me sad, or mournful. Not that I was never happy, I had a lot of happy times. But, as my three strike marriage track record suggests, I never found true lasting peace, and when the chips were down, I always wondered what if…
I am learning, late in life but better late than never, to embrace all the choices I have made. Because somehow, in some weird twist of fate, the universe led me here. I am home. And I look forward to whatever she has in store. I hope y’all will venez avec moi. A bientot mes cheres!! Je vous aime !
Click here to hear Tom Pettry singing my song
Sister of Mine, Home Again 